Finding Joy: My Joy Report

[I’m stealing the idea of a joy report from my friend Dakota (who stole it from someone else)–check out his joy report here!]

Focus on the Positive

We all have different trials and tribulations in our lives, many of which have been compounded by the pandemic. To help get us through the tough times, it’s helpful to think of what we are grateful for–as well as what brings us joy. Sometimes there is overlap between what we are grateful for and what brings us joy, but sometimes they are separate items. Either way, focusing on these positive aspects can help keep us healthier in both our bodies and our minds.

There are certainly times in life when focusing on the positive is difficult or even impossible, and I don’t want to discount the feelings of anyone who may be in such a spot right now. Issues of anxiety and depression have been exacerbated by the pandemic; and I understand all too well that when in despair, one may be unable to find joy. However, positivity tends to feed off of itself, much like creativity does. That is to say, one positive thought or one creative act can produce another one…and another one. It’s a way of “training” your brain for either thought process. I’ve written more about the “breeding” of creativity in this blog post.

A lot of the activities that tend to bring me both joy and mental stimulation (often one and the same for me) are prohibited or highly discouraged right now due to the pandemic. I can’t travel abroad, and many other travel-related activities, even domestic travel, could still put me (and those I love) at risk. Meeting face-to-face with a group of friends for trivia or discussion is also out of the question (meeting virtually is fine though!). There are too many unknowns with COVID-19, and I am not taking any unnecessary risks. So, in the absence of such activities, where do I find joy these days?

Where I Find Joy

For better or for worse, the pandemic has given me a chance to slow down and not expect as much from myself. In taking that pressure off of myself, I’ve found that I’ve been able to reflect more fully on life and on the seemingly little things around me. Those little things are actually much larger than I may have previously thought.

Writing-Related Activities

It should come as no surprise to anyone that writing-related activities bring me joy. I often feel a wave of excitement–a rush of adrenaline–when a story is edging its way onto my computer screen. Similarly, when I’m deep into an editing project, I usually find myself completely entranced and focused–it’s that feeling of flow, of being “in the zone.” Any time I see that a couple hours have passed without my even realizing it due to such immense focus, I feel joy. I feel like I am doing what I am meant to do.

Since mid-April, I’ve been hosting a virtual write night via Zoom on Monday nights. (You can find information for this weekly event on my Facebook page.) It’s a specified time to do writing each week. We have an initial check-in to meet, say hi to each other, and talk about our current writing projects; and then we go about our own writing for an hour and a half or so. After the session, we check in with each other again.

For me, this weekly group is not just about the writing; it’s also about learning from others. And, in many ways, it’s therapeutic. When the pandemic started, I had difficulty getting my bearings, and I struggled to write. In fact, I struggled with productivity in general. These Monday night sessions, though, have kept me grounded and focused on writing; they have kept me accountable for some sort of production. In short, I look forward to these write nights; the interaction, socialization, and the people who attend bring me joy. The sessions also give me a sense of calm and purpose. Instead of fretting about when I’m going to find time to work on this story or that story, I look toward Monday night–my designated time to write.

Reading

I’m using a level-4 heading here for reading because I consider reading to be “writing-related,” though it could easily go under its own level-3 heading, too. Reading doesn’t have to be writing-related, but it is for me. Especially now. In March, when the pandemic first began, I found it difficult to focus on reading anything that wasn’t work-related. At the same time, though, I missed reading. So, I took to reading very short prose, often one- or two-page stories. My most recent writing has been heavily influenced by these short works. And like with writing itself, I often get a burst of excitement–a jolt of adrenaline–when I read certain short pieces. That burst of excitement is joy, and it’s enthralling.

Exercise

Exercise? Yes, I find joy in exercise. And especially so during the pandemic.

I love to travel; and, like many others, my sense of “place” has been disrupted. It’s disrupted in that it’s the same. I no longer go to coffee houses to sit and write or edit or read, and all vacations are on hold indefinitely due to the pandemic. It’s taken a while, but I’ve finally grown to find some peace in the sameness, in the routine of the day-by-day. So, for the time being, I’ve traded in my traveling shoes for running shoes and rollerblades.

Actually, I’ve always been an avid exerciser, but workouts have taken on a new meaning these last few months. Much like with my writing and editing, I often find myself “in the zone” when running–I feel a rush of energy and peace with my body. It’s an understanding of sorts. A workout that leaves me sweaty and sore, as strange as it may sound, gives me joy. Like I’m flying, escaping the monotony of the same four walls, even if I’m running the same route (or rollerblading the same route) each time. Even if I’m not even more than five miles from my home.

Perhaps what fuels me during a workout is both the exercise of the body and the exercise of the mind. I do a lot of my “writing” when I’m exercising. That is to say, exercising is a good way for me to clear my head and see any problems (e.g., plot holes, characterization) in my writing from a different perspective–and to see things differently in general, too. In that way, it’s not so different from traveling after all.

Scrabble

And speaking of exercising the mind…

I’ve played Scrabble on the Facebook app for many years. There’s a new app now, called Scrabble Go, which I don’t care for, but the weaknesses of the app don’t keep me from enjoying the game itself. I have several regular opponents, some of whom are complete strangers. I could say my joy comes from winning–and I wouldn’t necessarily be wrong!–but my joy really comes from challenging myself to play better. I feel a sense of excitement every time I bingo (i.e., use all my seven tiles to spell a word). I feel joy when I’m facing a challenging opponent, regardless of whether I win or lose. I feel joy when I’m pushing myself to be a better version of myself at any given time.

In the new normal of the pandemic world, we have to make concessions. Pre-pandemic, I only had a few Scrabble games going at a time, and it sometimes took weeks or months to finish one game. Now, I am definitely playing more than I used to (and with more people). Like most people, I’ve had to create a new normal and find joy in different things–simpler things in many ways. And I think I’ve succeeded. I think I’ve come to accept the world in its current state of uncertainty. Or if not accept, I’ve come to find enjoyment in places I might not have previously. Like the Scrabble Go app (which is still a horrible app).

Tending to Plants and Flowers

I believe experts call this idea of finding joy in simpler things “living in the moment.” The pandemic has given us an opportunity to slow down and notice the world around us. That noticing is an important aspect of writing, of being a writer. We writers must look at details and describe those details. Noticing the angle of someone’s nose, for example, is an interesting detail that can strengthen the characterization in a piece of writing.

These days, I’ve not so much been studying people’s noses; but I have been watching my plants and flowers grow, noticing the little changes in them on a daily or weekly basis. I find it surprising how often, for example, I have to cut the deadheads off my patio flowers. The growth-and-death cycle plays out in real time with my summer flowers.

It’s only been in the last couple of years that I’ve taken a keener interest in plants. It started with an amaryllis I bought in December of 2018. I was awestruck with how it changed on a daily basis; the blooms were magnificent. Now I have jade plants by my front door, so I have the opportunity to look at them and think about them many times a day. And I do, especially because I so rarely leave my house (at least compared to the pre-pandemic days)!

After a heavy storm a couple months ago, I was taken with the vividness of my front porch geraniums against the dim backdrop of a stormy spring sky. Their color–the brightness of it–gave me a sense of joy and reflection–of nature and creation. This is one of those small but important details that may have escaped my notice within the bustle of pre-pandemic life. Now, though, each day, I look at the flowers with a different perspective; I allow them to cheer me on in that way that nature does, by reminding me to appreciate what’s right there in front of me.

Time with my Family

Last night, I played Yahtzee with my parents. (I wore a mask, as I always do around others.) My mom won both games.

It’s a simple game. The rules aren’t complicated; there is some strategy involved, but there’s an awful lot of luck, too. But we had fun, and I know that playing Yahtzee with my parents during a pandemic is a joy-filled memory I will recall later.

My mom has ALS (aka Lou Gehrig’s disease). After over a year of progressing symptoms and multiple tests and doctors, she was diagnosed in October of 2019. Nothing uproots a person’s life quite like the diagnosis of a fatal disease. I am grateful that I was able to quickly relocate closer to my parents, and I am grateful that my move happened before the pandemic. The moving process didn’t bring my joy, but it made me feel gratitude. The joy I feel, though, comes with each day I get to spend with my mom, even when she’s not feeling too joyful herself.

On Sundays, my parents, my sister, and I have brunch together at my parents’ house. These Sunday brunches are also being filed as joyful memories, even as they are often emotional, sometimes filled with difficult but necessary conversations. Unquestionably, though, the times I spend with my family bring me joy. I strive to stay present in these moments, to cherish these moments for their simplicity, for the precious time of togetherness.

As silly as it may sound to non-dog people, I also find joy in and cherish the time with my 15-year-old dog, Rosie. For many people (myself included), a dog is a genuine part of a family. The pandemic has given Rosie and me more time together since I’m working strictly from home and not from a coffee house or other locale. Rosie can’t hear anymore, and arthritis doesn’t allow her to move as quickly as she once did. But I think our snuggles together bring us both joy. She watches me while I work; since the pandemic began, we have rarely been separated. I think many people with pets can understand the feeling of calm a pet can bring in a time of relative isolation and uncertainty.

Joy, Gratefulness, and Acceptance

I’ve written here about what has brought me joy during the pandemic and these months of relative isolation. For me, the last few months have been an interesting study of change (change of activity, change of perspective) and acceptance of uncertainty. It’s been a time of self-reflection, something writers tend to be known for.

One thing that I’ve learned is that acceptance of uncertainty is important in many aspects of life. Recently, I heard someone say (re: the pandemic), “I take precautions, but I’m not going to stop living my life.” The “but” in that sentence makes a difference–it indicates that person’s unwillingness to change and accept. Such a cavalier attitude is what has kept (and will continue to keep) the United States grounded due to COVID-19 much longer than the rest of the world.

We can find joy in acceptance and in change. With change, we become new, and that can be frightening because change is not always positive; but by leaving ourselves open to the possibilities of change, we can often find or create joy, even in unexpected and small things. Joy comes from being truly present in a moment.

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