The Singular “They”
Thirty(ish) years ago, my English teachers discouraged my peers and me from using the singular they (them, their, etc.) in our writing. For the papers I wrote in high school, using the phrase he or she (or his or her) was common in order to avoid the gender-specific he, him, or his.
Example: Every writer needs to discover his or her own most effective brainstorming techniques.
This usage can become tedious, though. And not just for the writer. If you’ve ever had to read an essay splashed with he or she, him or her, etc., you know that sometimes the pronouns become all you see. The content itself becomes null. One possible solution, therefore, is to pluralize your subject.
Example: Writers need to discover their own most effective brainstorming techniques.
This solution, though, can also become cumbersome.
At one time, it was also popular to alternate between he and she when referring to an unspecified person, i.e., using a male-specific pronoun in one sentence and a female-specific pronoun in the next. This was a trend that I never personally got on board with, as it can be confusing for the reader.
So, let’s consider the versatility of the singular they. The Chicago Manual of Style–my go-to grammar reference guide–states that “because he is no longer universally accepted as a generic pronoun referring to a person of unspecified gender, people commonly (in speech and in informal writing) substitute the third-person-plural pronouns they, them, their, and themselves (or the nonstandard singular themself).” The Chicago Manual of Style also states that the singular they is gaining some traction in formal writing. And, certainly, if a person does not identify as a specific gender, they should be used.
Language Changes over Time
In 2015, The Washington Post updated its style guide to reflect its official endorsement of the singular they. Such necessary style updates reflect not just the changing nature of language but of society as well. For example, it is becoming more and more common for individuals to list their preferred pronouns in their email signatures. This practice of noting one’s preferred pronouns is often encouraged and can be extremely helpful in educational or professional contexts where gender assumptions could lead to embarrassment or awkward interactions.
Thirty(ish) years ago I may have been discouraged from using the singular they, but thirty(ish) years ago, I was also taught to use two spaces after end punctuation, something that’s no longer done (and is sometimes jarringly noticeable when it is); in fact, Microsoft is even noting this as an error now.
To be effective communicators, we need to adjust our writing styles over time and change as language does. One point of the rhetorical triangle is that of audience. The way we present our message is dependent on who we are writing for. Therefore, we must be cognizant of the language we use and how our audience will receive it.
“He” Is Not a Gender-Neutral Pronoun
In his article “Even a Grammar Geezer Like Me Can Get Used to Gender Neutral Pronouns,” Geoff Nunberg writes, “The fact is that the pronoun ‘he’ is never gender-neutral.” You must be aware of who you might be excluding when using gender-specific pronouns in your writing. Other word choices are equally important to consider; gals, girls, ladies, guys, dudes, and mankind are examples of labels which, depending on the context, could alienate readers (thus weakening the intended message) if used.
The Purdue OWL offers further explanation of the singular they and notes that it can be problematic to make assumptions about a person’s gender. Therefore, if you have any doubt when you’re writing, use they/them/theirs.
To be effective communicators, we must be aware of the fact that our messages can be skewed by inappropriate word choices (which include pronouns). We must learn to practice inclusivity. We risk alienating our readers when we believe our message (i.e., the content alone) can stand by itself and that it doesn’t matter how we present it.
Interested in more discussion? Leave a comment or contact me.
[Post updated on 4-28-20 by the author.]
6 Comments
Lia Klimesh · September 3, 2019 at 6:25 pm
I agree that, sometimes, using “they” is better than “he or she”, although, I think there is a time and place for that too. I do not agree that Ripley is that great of a communicator.
Jessica Klimesh · September 3, 2019 at 8:00 pm
LOL. Agreed–Ripley could probably do better. Thanks for reading!
Amy Christensen · September 5, 2019 at 9:22 am
Good thoughts to chew on, especially when writing to the unknown audience articles of non-fiction. Thanks, Jess. – Amy
https://stylingrannymama.com/
Jessica Klimesh · September 5, 2019 at 9:26 am
Thanks for reading and commenting, Amy!
Alex Ramos · May 4, 2020 at 5:35 am
Interesting post. Can you give us some examples of effectively using the singular “they”? Thanks, Jessica.
Jessica Klimesh · May 4, 2020 at 7:55 am
Yes. Here’s an example for “everyday” usage–for individuals who may identify as nonbinary or simply prefer “they/them” pronouns for themselves: James went to the library and found a great book to read. Then, they went home and read all weekend. [Clarity of context will be important. This is a fabricated example, but if there was previous content that mentioned other people, the use of “they” could be ambiguous. Thus, the writer/speaker may have to replace “they” with “James” in that situation for clarity. As written, though, “they” refers to James.]
In academic usage, “they/them/their” is becoming increasingly common and could look something like this (another fabricated example): In their research, Jamie Smith states that dog owners possess more empathy than cat owners, but they concede that cat owners may be more intelligent. [In this example, “their” and “they” both refer to Jamie Smith. This use an academic writing is probably most common with names that are not clearly male or female, as the researcher/writer may not know which pronoun to assign to the source author. However, if the source author states what pronouns they prefer, those would be the pronouns the researcher/writer should use. <--Note my use of "they" in this last sentence, which is perhaps the most common use of the singular "they." "Source author" is singular. It used to be that this sentence would be written as "If the source author states what pronouns he or she prefers..." Hope that clarifies; thanks for reading, Alex!