The Weight of Words

Words Matter Week

Today (March 4th) is National Grammar Day, and it’s also the start of Words Matter Week.

According to the National Day Calendar, this is the 11th year that the National Association of Independent Writers and Editors (NAIWE) “has sponsored Words Matter Week.” And according to NAIWE’s Executive Director, April Michelle Davis, “In every aspect of life, personal or professional, words form the basis of relationships with others. The written word preserves and transmits knowledge, evokes alternate worlds, and provides endless food for thought. Words Matter Week gives us the opportunity to celebrate words and focus on why they matter.”

As a writer and editor, I like to think that I celebrate words every day. In every piece of communication, whether it be a text, email, blog post, short story, poem, or anything else, I strive for accuracy and precision. I regularly consider the various connotations of words, their nuances and shades of meaning.

In communication, there is a sender and a receiver, and just because the sender knows what they want to say doesn’t mean that the receiver understands that same meaning. Both the sender and receiver of a message have to deal with “noise.” Sometimes that “noise” is actual noise, but sometimes it takes the form of cultural, educational, and experiential differences. For all these reasons, it’s important to choose words wisely.

[The following sections have been updated to reflect current events of 2020.]

Sticks and Stones

The words one chooses when delivering a message—when communicating—mean something, and they tell a lot about the speaker. His lies aside, Donald Trump is notorious for using certain words and certain kinds of words in his speech (and his tweets). His most commonly used words are those that demean others, often with the presumed intention of making himself look good. As children, many of us were taught that sticks and stones might break our bones but that words can never hurt us. The fact is, though, that words can and do hurt people, both individually and collectively as a nation.

Think about humor for a moment. Humor can be an especially effective tool in writing because, generally speaking, most people like to laugh. But humor can run the gamut from biting sarcasm to quirky vanilla humor or “Dad jokes” (none of which is inherently negative). But humor can also backfire (depending on the context). We’ve probably all experienced that awkward moment where nobody laughs at something we’ve intended as funny. In face-to-face interaction, we can backtrack and try to explain the humor or just tell someone to forget it and laugh it off. Not so in writing.

Part of my job as an editor and writing consultant is to assist the writers I work with in conveying their messages appropriately, without unintentionally insulting their reader or communicating something offensive, as can occasionally happen with written humor.

Overall, writing has the potential to be easily misinterpreted because the reader lacks the face-to-face cues that can help them holistically understand the intended meaning. Word choice is not only important, but it’s also strategic. There are layers of meaning in every word or phrase used. Words can, indeed, hurt, and they can negatively affect a writer’s overall message.

Choose Words Wisely

For the first day of Words Matter Week (2019), NAIWE asked this: If you had to eliminate one word or phrase from the English language, what would it be? Why?

In considering an answer to this question, I initially thought of annoying phrases, phrases like “my bad” or “happy camper” or any number of various clichés. In my update of this post, though, I think instead to the inflammatory words that Donald Trump tends to use often, words like “hoax,” “stupid,” or “loser.” 

But no matter what I think of a person’s words, eliminating words or phrases just because they’re divisive or annoying is not a good reason. As a writer (and avid reader), I love the countless choices of words available. Why should I take away someone else’s choice? And I stand by that. That doesn’t mean, though, that someone should be intentionally cruel.

Name-calling is perhaps one of the most ineffective tools in rhetoric. It’s powerful, to be sure; it incites. But it damages and accomplishes essentially nothing but division. That it seems to be a prominent tactic of the current White House administration is evidence of how far the US has plunged in the last few years. When I was a child, name-calling was not tolerated; we were taught, instead, to settle differences in a more effective and respectful manner. I still believe that we have a civic responsibility to choose our words wisely, but I wouldn’t suggest eliminating any particular words from the English language.

Words Have Weight

Even if I wouldn’t choose to eliminate any words (even if I had the power to), there are some words that exude cruel power, words like “hate” and phrases like “shut up,” that I would consider choosing to eliminate. If you’ve ever been told to “shut up” (or told someone to “shut up”), you know that there’s a bite to that language, an inferred cruelty. It’s cold and angry.

Why not ask someone to simply be quiet? “Be quiet” can have a powerful effect when stated in a certain tone of voice or in a particular written context—it can relay its intent succinctly and either politely or in a more malicious manner. Yet it still feels different than “shut up.” If the phrases were weighted, would not “shut up” be heavier? If the phrases were personified, would not “shut up” be uglier, more menacing?

I think that “hate” has an equally heavy and disagreeable feeling to it. Sometimes I wonder if “hate” is really the opposite of “love.” Is “love” really as powerful? Sometimes, certainly (and I think we need more of it in the world!). But it’s also thrown about carelessly sometimes, which causes it to lose some of that power. “Hate,” though, no matter how it’s thrown about, always seems to carry the same weight.

Words Can Wound, So Exercise Care

Ultimately, although I dislike the phrase “shut up” and the word “hate,” as well as many other antagonistic words, I would not choose to eliminate them (or any word) from the English language. I would, however, advocate exercising extreme care when choosing one’s words.

Because words DO matter. They can hurt. They can wound. They can bite. They can weigh you down. They can also lift you up and make you feel light. Choose wisely.

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[Post updated on 9-12-20 by the author.]