The Blank Screen
I started writing a new story the other day. So much of my time these last few months has been spent on revising stories that I had (almost) forgotten what it was like to start fresh, to have a completely blank screen in front of me. As I wrote that first draft, I was thinking that maybe this is why people dislike writing. That blank screen can certainly be intimidating, even when one essentially knows what they want to say. And it takes a lot of time, which can also lead to some anxiety.
As I wrote that first draft, I made a conscious effort to take note of any anxious thoughts I was having with regard to what I was writing.
What I discovered was that once I started filling up that blank screen, putting one word after the other, I didn’t worry about anything.
Nothing.
For example, I didn’t put in quotation marks for dialogue. So what? I was also aware that I was being inconsistent with my comma usage, but I didn’t care about that either. Additionally, assuming that I would rename my characters at some point, I named them haphazardly and without much deliberation. I added some scene-setting details but didn’t do too much with that either.
In short, I didn’t worry about my story being good. Just as importantly, I didn’t worry about it being bad. My goal was to get my thoughts and initial ideas down on paper, and that’s all.
Just a First Draft
I follow a similar process for anything I write, be it a short story, blog post, or an essay. It’s when I’m writing short stories, though, that I have to most fervently remind myself that it’s just a first (or early) draft. And the thing about a first draft is that nobody has to see it. In fact, in most cases, nobody should see a first draft. First drafts are usually pretty awful. (Anne Lamott has a whole wonderful essay about the awfulness of first drafts.)
I think, though, that this awfulness is what trips people up. This awfulness, I think, is why people dislike writing. Writing, though, is a process, and much of what I call “writing” is actually “rewriting” (and is part of editing and revision). Many beginning writers stop at that first step. I’ve written something, but it’s awful.
Why Is Writing So Hard?
During my years as a teacher, my writing students generally noted the following as reasons for disliking writing:
- Grammar and spelling–worried about writing “correctly”
- Vocabulary–having (or not having) an “academic” enough vocabulary
- Citation rules–documenting sources correctly and avoiding plagiarism
While all of these are different reasons, they are essentially all the same. Ultimately, they are all based on a fear of being wrong. Maybe you had a teacher who pointed out all of your comma errors but never really helped you understand those errors. Or maybe you had teachers who seemed inconsistent in the way they graded your essays. Maybe one told you to write this way; another told you not to.
The evaluation of writing is subjective. Possibly less so in academic writing than in creative writing but subjective nonetheless. This can also be frustrating to students. Every writing teacher might grade on different aspects.
To teach writing is really to teach guidelines; it doesn’t matter whether it’s academic writing or creative writing. The idea is to help students learn how to look at their writing in a more analytical way and make them aware of the writing (and rewriting) process. Grammar, vocabulary, and spelling are but just a few small facets. They are certainly important, but they are not everything. And while creative writing may allow for a lot more freedom than academic writing in some respects, there are just as many (or possibly more?) guidelines to consider.
And writing almost always takes a lot longer than most people think it will. A LOT longer. If you’ve ever spent an hour agonizing over one word or sentence, then you know exactly how long it can take to write a whole chapter or a whole book.
How to Improve as a Writer
To improve as a writer, one needs to understand that writing is a process and that revision/editing is an integral part of that process. You need to understand the basic rules of grammar and how the rules can affect your writing. Additionally, you need to understand certain guidelines (which are not necessarily rules). Perhaps more importantly, you need to understand how to analyze writing (yours and others’) in a critical and objective fashion.
[Post updated on 3-29-21 by the author.]
2 Comments
Maryann Aberg · September 4, 2019 at 1:33 pm
Over the past 50 years, I’ve come to embrace the “blank page” or “blank screen” as the perfect setting for holding intimate conversations with my best friend. Like a comfy kitchen nook warmed by the last rays of sun on a winter’s day, this virtual space becomes a cozy, welcoming environment for discovery rather than merely a tool for subjecting my words to critical scutiny.
As my work progresses, each new day brings multiple opportunities to encounter it as both author and reader. When I begin a new chapter, I operate primarily as author, speaking to a disembodied, imaginary audience. But each time I return to the screen after even only a few minutes away, I operate as reader, responding to my words as if I hadn’t written them myself.
This inner dialogue enables my author self to sense and correct structural weakness, flawed reasoning, imprecise word choice, and graceless prose. When my reader self responds, “Ah, yes, I understand!,” after reading a sentence or passage, I know my author self has communicated with my best friend in the most direct manner and with the most impact I can muster. Only then can I move on to the next paragraph or section or chapter or book. And the next ‘blank screen.
Jessica Klimesh · September 4, 2019 at 2:20 pm
This is great! Thanks for reading! I think that it’s important to act as both writer and reader when we’re writing–it’s a crucial part of the self-editing process. For many people, though, it’s hard to separate themselves from the work; this is often why it’s difficult to edit (and proofread, for that matter) one’s own work. Thanks for commenting!